Akatsuki's Cock
by Saso-Saku-4ever
Summary: What happens when Hidan Bakes a LEMON cake.


**M'kay! Me and charley had a picnic, and some badass ideas came up between us for fanfictions. It all has to do with LEMON cake.**

**Fyi, Hidan has a weird accent. Thats why hes talking weird.**

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_Ding!_

The Akatsuki members gathered around the table. They were told that tonight they would receive a special meal.

Hesitantly, they all took their seats, excluding Hidan. he was the one cooking for them. Deidara sniffed the air and grinned to Sasori across from him.

"Surprisingly, It smells quite Delicious." Every one grimaced at him. "What are you talking about?!" Exclaimed Kisame. "It smells like shit!" Deidara pouted.

The group jumped at the clatter of pans coming from the kitchen. Hidan stepped out. Snikers filled the room.

"What the hell are you wearing mann!?" Kakuzu yelled out. Hidan was wearing a light pink apron that was lined with white lace. In the center it had a bunny. He pointed his wooden spoon, with what looked like cake batter dripping from it.

"Dont laugh.." He straightened out the apron, "It said in the cuuk Buuk that yer supposed to wear an aprun." He looked to Sasori, who was sinking in his chair. "Besides, I got it frum Sasori's Closett." The puppet's face flushed, "WHAT! I use it to dress my dolls!"

Every one laughed, as Hidan headed back in to the kitchen. "The Fud wiel be dun in a sec." He called back.

"Wonder what hes makin.."Kisame asked aloud.

"Probaly Something To kill us all so he can take over the Akatsuki." Konan replied. Silence over took the room for a few minutes. Itachi was the first to break the barrier.

"I would like to dress up kakuzu in the apron." Every turned the heads towards the two. Akwardness took over the silence. But again was broke by.. Itachi.

"Just kidding. I would look so much better in it." Kisame and Deidara nodded in agreement. Finally Hidan entered with a Covered platter, Smiling from ear to ear.

"And now prusunting meh masturpiece." He uncovered the plate to reveal what looked like a 2 layered lemon Cake. Deidara let out a sqeel and ran to Hidan's side.

"OH EM GEE! I love Lemon cake!" Hidan Quickly put down the cake and slapped Deidara.

"Dude what the hell was that for!?" His caressed his cheeck, tears welling up in his eyes.

"Its Oh Em Jay." Hidan corrected. "But you were right. This is meh Lemun Cock."

"COCK!?" Kakuzu exclaimed rather loudly. Then under his breath "Your cock doesn't taste like lemons.." A mischievous smile spread across Sasori's face.

"I know whos does." He looked towards Deidara who also smiled and sat back down. Hidan look down at his cake, smiling proudly. Oblivious to the conversation about his pronunciation.

"So who wants a piece of meh cock?!" At first nobody answered, but then Kakuzu stood up, knocking over his chair. Raising his hand as high as it could go he yelled " I DO!!"

Hidan put a piece on a plate and walked over to Kakuzu. "I didn't know you had such a sweet tooth!" He put the plate in front of him and playfully poked him in the chest.

Kakuzu looked sadly down at the cake. "Well eat it!" Hidan urged. Kakuzu looked at him. "Well.. I thought you meant you-" He was cut off from a elbow in his side from Konan.

He sliced a bite off the front and held it in front of his face. Hesitantly he placed it in his mouth. Letting it sit on his tongue, he absorbed the flavors. It was fantastic!

Suspense filled the room, while waiting for kakuzu's reaction. Sasori stood up and slammed his hands on the table, shaking Kakuzu out of the dream state he unknowingly slipped into.

"So? How is it!?" Kakuzu smiled. "Its...Scrumdiliumptious!!!" Hidan clapped while jumping up and down.

"YAY! CAKE!" Deidara yelled and reached for a slice along with every one else. Once they were all full of cake, the Akatsuki members got up to retire to their rooms. Hidan stopped them.

"Wait! I have something else for joo to treh!" He ran to the kitchen and soon returned with another covered platter. The group groaned and didn't return to their seats.

"Are you ready for this!?" He uncovered the plate to show a rancid boars head. On the side there was a carved jashin symbol, with what looked like maggots crawling through it. And in its mouth was a lemon.

**End!**

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